       |
Perversion for Profit 1 & 2: Produced 1964 - 1965 in full color, "Perversion For Profit" is a two part (pieced together here) anti-pornography film produced by financier Charles Keating, linking pornography to the Communist conspiracy and the decline of Western civilization. More of a propaganda film than anything you'll ever view, this bizzare short film was presented by the 'Citizens for Decent Literature' Corporation and is narrated by outstanding news reporter (Or so they say..) George Putnam. The narrator begins seemingly mild by warning parents, teachers, and adults of the 'flood tide of filth in the form of news stand pornography' but soon goes way off the deep end by claiming that printed porn leads not only to communism but was responsible for the decline and fall of ancient civilizations such as Egypt, Greece, and Rome due to 'moral decay'. Beware because 'once perverted' by this filth, you will soon become a irrevocable sex fiend! The laughable propaganda film continues to dig itself a deeper whole by preaching that printed porn leads to becoming a sexual deviant who is lead into (as the conservative but hilariously over dramatic host puts it..) the 'sexually deviant worlds of homosexuals, lesbians, sadists, and more!' Despite the intended focus of this propaganda film to keep people from buying this porn, the film actually serves as an index sampler of the material that's out there. The host shows example of girly magazines and sex literature including S&M and gay manuals. Some of the vintage porn periodicals shown (discreetly edited with black bars across the subject's EYES to hide their identity.. as if that's what needed to be censored...) include Follies, Gent, Gem, Sextet, Swank, Bachelor, Gala, Chic, Rapture, Plush, Monsieur, Frolic, Goodnight and many more. This film gets even more ridiculously comical when narrator George Putnam dives further off the deep end by stating that certain poses included in centerfolds are taken to distinctly feed the appetite of 'sexual perverts'... such shots would include a picture of a woman's butt which obviously has overtones of sadism, a picture of a woman on a farm where a goat is in the distant background which obviously refers to bestiality, and a picture of multiple nudie cuties sitting next to each other (just sitting.. not touching or kissing or anything mind you) which obviously alludes to lesbianism! The claims made by this film are so far stretched as to keep you rolling on the floor laughing! The film continues on by covering over supposed perverse atrocities that lead to moral decay including nudist magazines, physique magazines with homosexual view points (which are claimed to taint the mind of even the most 'normal' male when exposed to such material for 'prolonged periods of time'), transvestite magazines, men's adventure magazines (the moral decay that ensues when these publications cause addiction and sexual depravity!!), mail order porn, and the sex pocketbook / erotic novels. At one hilarious point in the film George Putnam actually reads a passage from the sex pocketbook "Sex Jungle" which will make you laugh so hard you cry! Culminating up to the final over-dramatic questions "Do you want your son enticed into the world of homosexuals or your daughter lured into lesbianism? Do you want them to lose all chance of a 'normal' happy married life?" and ending with the solemn cliche prayer "Oh God, deliver us, Americans, from evil." this sex literature propaganda film attempts to put right what they see as a moral wrong... but only serves as a comedic portrayal and iconic example of the classic propaganda film. Over dramatic, dripping with unintentional satire, and extremely cheesy, this film is not to be missed! Boys Beware: 1961. Possibly more bizarre, narrow minded, stereotypical of the time period, and HILARIOUS than "Perversion for Profit", "Boys Beware" is a black & white anti-homosexual film targeted at teenage boys, urging them to avoid encounters with potential molesters. Presented by Sid Davis Productions, this 'educational film' which is really more walking propaganda, was produced with the cooperation of the Inglewood Police Department and Inglewood Unified School District. The film begins as the narrator Lt. Williams, police officer for the juvenile division, is headed to Monroe Junior High School to give a lecture when he starts telling the story of Jimmy Barns, a young boy who makes a bad decision. Jimmy, after a game of basketball, hitchhikes a ride with a sleazy looking older man (think tall, thin, pencil moustache... pretty much he looks like director John Waters!). The man soon shows up daily to give Jimmy a ride home, with a friendly pat at the end of each ride when he ultimately starts 'treating' Jimmy to outings to the park, a coke at the drive-in, and a fishing trip. During their fishing trip the stranger shows Jimmy some pornographic pictures and they exchange off color jokes. What Jimmy didn't realize is that the stranger had (and this is the narrator's words..) "a sickness of the mind. The stranger was a homosexual.. the kind who demands intimacy with a member of the same sex!" DUN DUN DUN! The stranger soon takes Jimmy to a hotel and the inevitable happens... er, or at least we think it does. The viewer really has to assume the worst at this point in the cheesy film where there's a shot of them going into the motel immediately followed by a shot of them leaving the room with Jimmy looking over dramatically upset and despondent. To make the parody even more laughable, Jimmy tells his parents who inform the police, whom upon hearing of the incident arrest the stranger and put Jimmy on probation! Apparently it was his fault as well! The film continues on with it's ridiculous claims, insinuations (such as all homosexuals are also child molesters), and parody filled scenarios including the following two 'incidents' portrayed showing a young boy who plays basketball with a strange man, another boy who gets followed under a bridge by a stranger, and a third boy who is abducted when he gets in a car to help a stranger find two 'bicycle thieves'.. all of which result in 'perversion'! A high comedy point in the film (concerning later events in the news regarding a certain rock / pop singer) is when the film warns boys of homosexual predators who hang out in public bathrooms at beaches, parks, & other areas... they even show an example which happens to be the public bathroom at the Santa Monica Pier!! Only an old educational film of this nature could be so ridiculously hilarious! |
Know For Sure: Produced in 1941 by the Research Council of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the US Public Health Service, this black and white educational propaganda film was Hollywood's rallying cry to call attention to the epidemic of syphilis in the early 20th century. During that time syphilis was at the top of the STD outbreak list and it took at least a year of treatment to cure the disease. The short film opens with an Italian shop owner named Tony MaDroni who proudly paints the words "& son" on his store front sign... only to find out in a few hours that his baby was born dead due to him and his wife having an unfound case of syphilis. As the chain smoking doctor chastises the STD-ridden man about having syphilis, the Chico-Marx like Tony makes a dramatic attempt to kill himself with a knife. The doc stops him exclaiming, "It's treatable.. you'll be fine!" Tony soon starts attending a VD clinic with his wife where they view a bunch of other VD victims like a guy who got syph from a dance hall girl, and another named 'Gerry Anderson' who got funny sores 'down there'. The corny and over dramatic doctor shows the germs that cause syph AKA spider o' keefes to Gerry who then states (hysterically) that now that he has syphilis he'll have to "leave home, quit school and move to a town where no body knows him!" But no! The doctor reassures him that he'll just have to simply go through about a year of treatment.. piece of cake! The only thing that they require is that he divulge the name of the woman he contracted the disease from... you know so they can brand her as a carrier and mark her with a giant scarlet A on her chest... er, we mean, so they can 'treat' her. Don't miss the ending exclamations of "Syphilis kills babies! Syphilis strikes with blindness and insanity!" as they show pictures of crippled men not being able to walk. These images are followed pictures of stereotypical prostitutes and whore houses (Can you say Ms. Mona's Best Little Whorehouse?) and the finale ending urging viewers to rush to the doctor if they find a sore on their body.. which of course resulted in every fearful American with a pimple on their rump rushing to the doctor! But remember, the point was to 'Know For Sure!'
It's Wonderful Being A Girl: A 1968 color educational film produced for the purpose of showing in health & science classes. This film was often the 'educational film' shown to pre-pubescent girls who were separated from the boys for a special class in Jr. High / High School as they approached maturity. The educational film, which really ended up playing like a elongated commercial for Modess Sanitary Napkins (who were the producers of the film of course) begins with Jean who is already menstruating coming home to tell her mom she needs to take a shower because she feels 'icky'. Meanwhile, Jean's friend Libby hasn't 'become a woman' yet... which is brutally rubbed in her face when Libby asks her mom for a 'mature ladies' dress' like the one her friend Jean has. (Apparently you can't wear nice dresses unless you're going through monthly hell... who knew?) At this point in the film, Libby's mom sits her down and has 'the talk' with her, explaining how and why you get your period. She explains that when you get older your body gets ready to have a baby and make a warm soft place out of blood and tissue for that baby.. and despite the fact that Libby has a look of SHEAR TERROR on her face the mom continues to tell her that when you don't have a baby, that soft warm bloody tissue (At this point Libby is pretty much scarred for life..) leaves your body on a monthly basis. Then with an up-beat turn good old mom says happily "It's a natural part of being a girl!" and proceeds to show the Modess sanitary napkins, belts (yes ladies, remember those?), and panties that she bought Libby for that grand day that SHE starts to menstruate. Libby finally gets her period, which some of her friends refer to as 'the curse' or 'being unwell'. She's feeling a little grumpy (You would be too if your mom was so perky all the damn time.) but Jean reminds her that you can have fun while on your period if you know how.. enter the cheesy 50s music as Libby goes bowling with her friends and laughs heatedly. This is the point where the film suddenly seems to turn into a vintage teenage commercial with bobby soxers and product placement! The film ends with a segment of Libby and her class mates in a health education class where the teacher is explaining the process of menstruating. She ends the discussion by telling the class, and the viewers, that after the film they will receive a special calendar to track their monthly periods.. what fun! Produced by Audio Production Incorporated and presented by Personal Products Co., a division of Johnson & Johnson, manufacturers of Modess Brand Sanitary Napkins, Belts, & Panties, this film ends with the great message, "You can still have fun when you're menstruating, if you understand what's right for you." No one happened to explain to Libby the monthly trauma would go on for 40 years... but who cares.. she got that dress in the end! This film is cheese ball to the hilt!
Human Growth: Produced in 1962 as the second color edition of the film, with advisory assistance from staff members of the University of Oregon, "Human Growth" is a short educational film all about puberty and adolescence... yes kids, another one from your high school science class but not even more funny than it was back then! The film opens with a Ozzie & Harriett style family sitting around the home. The girl mentions how her teacher said girls mature one year faster than boys. Despite the loving banter from the brother, the 'oh golly gee' Mr. Brady type father shows some interest in his children's education and asks them what they learned from the educational film they saw at school, of which his daughter is on the preview committee for the film. Enter a phase into the next day during class when said daughter is giving her synopsis on the educational film on adolescence. From here you dive into narration, slides, pictures, and animation of the progression of a human body through puberty and adolescence. Yes they mention the hormones, the sexual reproductive systems waking up, the body hair growing into lace and even the differences between the male and female reproductive systems. Don't miss the cartoon male private parts (Oh My!) shown as a graphic since they weren't allowed to use REAL photos of genitalia. In the end of this campy and all around classic educational film, the teacher from the film approaches the camera and talks directly to the students who are watching the film, urging them to ask questions to their teachers like the ones asked in the film. Somehow I don't think the giggly children watching the film were going be as 'technical' and serious as the kids in the short!
The ABC of Sex Ed For Trainables: Produced in 1975 by Hallmark Films and Recordings Inc, this was a color Planned Parenthood film made to instruct teachers and counselors on how to best teach autistic (referred to here as 'trainables') about the human body and sex education. The narrator Richard Dix (notice the name) begins by instructing on the different ABC's of sex education: A. Awareness of their bodies and feelings, B. Understanding the mechanics of reproduction, and C. Training in responsibilities and appropriate social behavior. You jump from a simple narration to a roller coaster of outrageous, seemingly made up, and hysterical situations including a beginning teacher's workshop on how to teach trainables about sex where they discuss the different words for the 'male member'. (It makes you wonder why they would use vulgar slang when they're supposed to be teaching in a clinical and educational environment!) The narrator mentions that they focus on drawing out information from the 'trainables' rather than 'pumping in'.. ok, the jokes here are just too easy! The chain of events are just too unbelievable and hilarious to mention, including the graphic, close up, drawings of the male and female genitalia, erections, an explanation of how girls have three holes (yeah.. enough said there), periods (a teacher actually teaches a trainable about periods and hands over her used pad.. ew!), nocturnal emissions (a student informs a teacher he can't get out of bed because he's 'wet and sticky'!! HYSTERICAL!), masturbation (a Mrs. Brady like mom walks in on her trainable son), sex, masturbation in public (yes I said in public!), and many many more. This film from the Planned Parenthood organization of Pennsylvania is just too out there to believe and will keep you laughing for hours!
